This article has been flagged for maintenance/improvement

For more information, see MarissaTheWriter Wiki:Maintenance under the section Family trees.

no one cairo's aboot your ancestry all of earth pre condensation is blewn up

- Roxa Lavigne (to Janet Roberts), Post-SCrash Session

The Roberts family consists of all the relatives of Janet Roberts. It is not to be confused with the Jonson family, featuring all the relatives of Marrissa Roberts, Janet's distant ancestor. The apparent surname "Roberts" is a malapropism, as it was originally part of the full name of Robot Lettuce, "Marrissa Roberts Lettuce", before being given to Gabe Jonson and Caroline's daughter. They are the main characters of the Post-SCrash Session series.

Their parallel version in the bad universe of Marrissaverse Stories 2015 is the Ridgway family.

Family treeEdit

Jonson family
Beauregarde family
Chell Junor Roberts
Skepness Man Beauregarde
Jonson family
Violet Beauregarde, Jr.
Charlie Roberts
Rose Quartz Vasquez
Luminescence Pixies
Colonel Massacre
Meanie Pixies
(Candacension Pixies)
(Betty Crocket)
Grandma London
PoopUp Roberts
Spectatress Pirate
Lavigne family
Janet's Robrodad
Oven Wilsen
Ben Stiller
Lately Pirate
Gaslenna Membrain
Roxa Lavigne
Jack London
Janet Roberts
Dick Stiller
Logic Editor
Dove Stiller
Trapezi Pirate
Louise London
Bertha Stiller
Looise Boombooms the 2

Other relationsEdit

  • It is only implied by MarrissaTheWriter Family Tree and never explicitly confirmed that Grandma London is Jack London's grandmother.
    • Furthermore, MarrissaTheWriter Family Tree contains a factual error: it purports that Grandma London and PoopUp Roberts were siblings and children of Candacension Pixies and Colonel Massacre, whereas Post-SCrash Session states that Grandma and PoopUp were married and only PoopUp was a child of Candacension and Colonel.
  • Both Ben Stiller and Lately Pirate are in gay relationships, but nevertheless married each other and had kids together as a typical heterosexual family.
  • Roxa Lavigne, Jack London, Janet Roberts and Dick Stiller have been cursed by Candacension Pixies to be able to transform into aliens Whores the Hock, Chronos Ampersand, Meanie Pixies and Merlin LeJoin respectively. Eventually, Meanie rids herself of the curse by killing a random troll on Belarus Nouveau and taking over his soul and memories; however, he has been claiming that Meanie is Candacension, and upon his killing, Meanie takes on the identity.

Major family membersEdit

Minor family membersEdit

  • Charlie Roberts, as a child, makes an appearance together with Violet Beauregarde, Jr. in Marrissaverse Stories 2015 and The AG 1991 Premiere of Inside Out. In the latter, they play the characters of Inside Out, namely Riley Andersen and her imaginary friend Bing Bong respectively.
  • Colonel Massacre is given a brief mention in Post-SCrash Session. Furthermore, a copy of his book is owned by his son, PoopUp Roberts.
  • Luminescence Pixies is Meanie's ancestor in Post-SCrash Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens. She is generally cheerful, in contrast with Meanie's grumpy attitude, and is therefore hated by Meanie. While not confirmed, dialogue implies that Luminescence is Meanie's mother.
  • Janet Roberts mentions Betty Crocket and Grandma London as her great-grandmother and grandmother respectively.
  • Spectatress Pirate, mentioned as Lately's ancestor in Post-SCrash Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens, is revealed to be her and Trapezi's mother in Meanie Pixies' Hour of Fame.
  • The Stiller family are the main characters of Dick Stiller and Roxa Lavigne's Time Travellegiance. This story also mentions the gay relationships of Ben Stiller and Lately Pirate.
  • The relationship between Dove Stiller and Trapezi Pirate is only ever established in versions of the MarrissaTheWriter Family Tree by ASBusinessMagnet.
  • Looise Boombooms the 2 is a minor character, playing the role of stripper in THE MARRISSA GAMES. It is not actually known if she is Looise's daughter, but it is conjectured.


Note that some family members may have appeared in other stories; this only documents the appearances of the family tree at large.