|Part of the Jonson family|
Principal Business Lady
|Spouse: Skepkitty (divorced)|
|Biological children: Skepness Man|
|Spouse: Principal GLaDOS (deceased)|
|Biological children: Caroline|
Adoptive children: Emprase Contone Ovasere (after Principal GLaDOS's death)
As Business ManEdit
Business Man chronologically first appears in THE MARRISSA GAMES, where he is seen as the booty salonist. Stemming from the previous fanfic written by MarrissaTheWriter, Invader Zim: Born Again Christian, it appears he had married Skepkitty and that together they had a child Skepness Man, but eventually they divorced and Business Man became a reel fan. He is in charge of preparing Marrissa Roberts for the Games, and came up with the idea of making her the girl on fire, as a "take that" on Skepkitty and falmer trollz in general.
Later, after spending a good deal of time in the Capitol, Business Man went back in time to AG 1978 and became the principal of Portal High School, replacing Mr. Sanpe. Thus, Mr. Sanpe was angry at him and Principal Business Man's IQ level started to decline. In Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host, he expresses great interest in time travel. He also installs a button allowing Willy Wanker's glass elevator to travel in time, and when slipping up, accidentally says that he and Violet Beauregarde knew each other from childhood.
In two closely interrelated fanfics, TEEN FORTRESS 2 and Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition (of which he is the main character), Portal High School had completely gotten to him. He married Gluttony Magnolia, and together they had a daughter Caroline, but in the beginning of Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition his wife suddenly became Principal GLaDOS, causing him to step down. He also has written a time travel exam, which he proceeds to give to Ingineer, as well as a fanfic series, named "Portol The 4th Millennia", which becomes the basis of him being accepted as part of the semi-permeable extension to the TEEN FORTRESS 2. The stories, much later, were also revered by Janet Roberts, when she looked up to her ancestors.
In a scene of Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition, he briefly time-travels to the future, seeing Portal Labs and being killed and resurrected by GLaDOS.
After Principal GLaDOS is killed, he becomes the principal again. His second term isn't as elaborate as his first term, but it is revealed that he re-constructed Portal High School into a semi-sentient rocket-shooting robot to be defended against Caroline's evil form GLaDOS.
After serving his term as the principal, he was dethroned and killed by Principal InterdimensionalPortaller. Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition insists that he and Principal GLaDOS, after the founding of Portal Labs, became Atlas and P-Body.
As Business LadyEdit
After ASBusinessMagnet came out, the first appearance of Business Lady is in HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE, set during Principal GLaDOS's term. She has found out that Caroline has posted nude pics of herself on MySpace, and immediately grounds her.
Business Lady also appears in Marrissaverse Stories 2015. The fanfic claims that Business Lady came out because her transgender friend, Loreta Alcorn, committed suicide on January 13, AG 1991 (seven years before the events of TEEN FORTRESS 2), but is still called by "she/her" pronouns in the story, which takes place in AG 1985.
In Meanie Pixies' Hour of Fame, she is first shown asking for a sequel to Inside Out from Skepness Man. Later, however, she is shown to have a disagreement with Marrissa Roberts, as well as an allegiance with Pokémon Go's Team Mystic.
- In Logic Editor's editing, Business Man is named "Principal Business Magnet" and appears to have a different personality from his canon self. It is presumed that Logic thinks that ASBusinessMagnet actually acts like that.
- In Post-SCrash Session, he has a story attributed to him named "Portal 2: The Stupidest Seek-will of All Time". In fact, this is based on ASBusinessMagnet authoring the fanfic Portal 2: The Stupidest Sequel of All Time; "seekwill" is a common MarrissaTheWriter way of spelling "sequel".
- However, in Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition, authorship of "Portol 2 De Most Idiotik Seekwilk of Akk Time" is attributed to "da reel Business Man", i.e. the real-life ASBusinessMagnet.
- According to Gir, Business Man "americans", contradicting ASBusinessMagnet's Lithuanian origins.
- TEEN FORTRESS 2 (First appearance)
- Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition (Main narrator)
- THE MARRISSA GAMES
- Post-SCrash Session (Mentioned only)
- Enchiridion Marrissa
- Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host
- Additional Discoveries on Marrissaverse History
- Living Someone Else's Life
- HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE (First named "Business Lady")
- Marrissaverse Stories 2015
- The AG 1991 Premiere of Inside Out
- Meanie Pixies' Hour of Fame