Post-SCrash Session is the third officially listed trollfic written by ASBusinessMagnet, and the first one to make it to FanFiction.Net. It follows Janet Roberts and her friends as they "hopefully play a game of Sburb Alpha."
The story has two direct tie-ins: Post-SCrash Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens, focusing on Meanie Pixies before this story's events, and Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host, which, while originally talking about Janet and co. after they escaped to the past, quickly takes another direction and becomes a romance story between Skepness Man Beauregarde and Chell Junor Roberts. After this series, the next installment, Post-SCrash Session 4: Parody of a Parade, is a MS Paint Adventures-based "fan adventure".
The story is mainly relevant because it introduces many Homestuck concepts and characters who later become relevant in its sequels, even though it is not the first Homestuck trollfic written by MarissaTheWriter; that title goes to OMG IMMA IN LOFE WIDDEN ALEEYEN! instead.
Janet Roberts, Jack London, Roxa Lavigne and Dick Stiller are the last humans on Earth, living in 413 post-Condensation, where Critics United was taken over by Candacension Pixies, who proceeded with a massacre of humans. Candacension is responsible for the death of Janet Roberts's dad and his conversion to a robot who likes to ground Janet repeatedly. She also has announced Janet as her "hairless", but Janet insists on destroying Critics United and raising Candacension's side company, BC Corp, when she eventually does acquire it.
The night before the events start, November 10th, Janet mentions having a dream on "Prophet" in which Jack had died. As she wakes up, she wants to message Jack about it, but instead she is confronted by Cantaloupe, mentioned in the fic as "Uranian Umbræ". Cantaloupe informs Janet that she is the "Made of Life" and that in reality, Jack survived.
With the assistance of God Cat, Janet leaves the house to check if Sburb Alpha had arrived in the mail. However, the mailbox explodes and Janet wakes up on Prospit, where a black guy with a knife stabs her and she dies again.
Back on Earth, it turns out God Cat had saved Janet from the mailbox death. Janet then is messaged by Roxa Lavigne, who's insistent that Janet is corrupted and that only Roxa and Dick will play Sburb Alpha, and Dick Stiller's GPS Navigation, who contradicts Roxa and says that all four of them will play Sburb Alpha, before shutting down. Janet also ponders her preference of literature, including books such as Problem Sleuth 3, Pony Pals: Detective Pony and books about Marrissa Roberts, Janet's ancestor, before she messages Jack London.
Jack confirms to Janet that he did not have a dream on Prophet, instead dreaming about Aranna Sorket, and both agree that Roxa and Dick should be left with Sburb Alpha alone. Just as then, Cantaloupe notices strange features on Janet, and in the shock of this, Janet is transformed into Meanie Pixies.
Meanie reveals her own plans to foil BC Corp and raise Critics United and is messaged by Aranna. It turns out that Aranna is knowledgeable, knowing that Meanie has no interest in Sburb Alpha. However, Aranna inadvertently turns Meanie back into Janet, who notices that the Red Miles are emerging in the sky.
Janet is whisked away by Dick Stiller in his "delirious time car". Dick mentions Janet that they're going to the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games, and proceeds to take away Jack. However, Roxa isn't as lucky and is killed by the Red Miles. Aware of this, Dick sets up Sburb Alpha on the car and they all go to "Desura", where they find Dream Roxa and they all end up in the site of the Games, listening to the scores. The fanfic ends with Roxa noticing that Skepkitty is a tribute and Janet noticing that Marrissa is a tribute, and in the final "Seriously Written Note", ASBusinessMagnet implies that there may be a crossover involved with the story Doombly (in the text, known as Insane Guy of DOOM) was writing at the time, THE MARRISSA GAMES.
- The story's first three chapters also exist in the more messed-up trollfic form.