Amethyst: What was the appeal again? Just because Rose wrote poorly, now we all are going to write poorly?
Garnet: It's the only way to write.
- - Chapter 4: "Founding Story"
Lion 3: Straight to Trollfic is a story written by ASBusinessMagnet, which parodies many trollfics, among them ITS MY LIFE!. It frames the characters (and writers) of those stories as characters from the Cartoon Network show Steven Universe.
Steven explores the alternate dimension he found in Lion's mane, where he comes across a story. He comes back to the real world to find a place to read the story, but narrowly avoids death due to Garnet's "Future Vision". Garnet then reveals the ending of the story to Steven, and the two begin reading.
After reading the first chapter of the story, Steven falls asleep while Garnet chases Lion away. The next day, he discusses the story with Pearl, who is unable to comprehend that the story could have any relation to Rose, due to the mental image that Pearl has of her. Steven thus, fearing Pearl, escapes to Rose's room, and continues to read there.
As he walks out of the room, he notices that the portrait of Rose that they had was dropped. Steven asks Lion to teleport him to where Pearl is, and Lion obliges. Pearl is still distraught about the idea that Rose could be hiding something from her, but eventually allows Steven to read chapter 3 of Rose's story.
After hearing of the story, Pearl gets the idea of writing a similar story. Thus, in chapter 4 Steven and Pearl present their collaboration, a parody of My Immortal starring Steven as Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and being appropriately named "Steven Pink'ness Quartz Rose Cutie Pie Universe". After it is read, Garnet takes her turn and writes her own story.
Garnet's story is a parody of Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, and its main character is "Ruby and Sapphire who are fused with Sapphire and Ruby respectively". However, the sole act of reading it has caused Ruby and Sapphire to split, and therefore they appear in front of Steven, who had no prior knowledge of them. Amethyst then assumes it is her turn to write, and goes to her room.
Lion 3, though, was discontinued, because ASBusinessMagnet feared that she was setting a bad example for the Steven Universe fandom. There is no closure to the plot.
The story that "Rose Quartz the Writer" wrote is named Lion 3: Spectators of the Host, referencing the episode title Lion 3: Straight to Video and Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host.
In the story, Rose Quartz takes Marrissa Roberts's role as the main Mary Sue. GLaDOS is represented by Yellow Diamond, Altas and P-Boy are represented by Peridot and Jasper, Chell Junor is represented by Steven, Wheatly is represented by Steven's father Greg Universe and the portal gun is represented by Rose's and Steven's pet lion, Lion/"Lyon". Other connections are less clear.
As in ITS MY LIFE!, Peridot and "Jaspers" harass Rose and Yellow Diamond sewisides, but is resurrected by Rose. Holding her at gunpoint, Rose asks Yellow Diamond where Greg is, and she answers that he is at Homeworld. Rose and the other Crystal Gems then head for Homeworld and pick up Greg, but a Homeworld version of Pearl infiltrates them, making them narrowly avoid death. Once they are back from Homeworld in "Grassy Planet", Rose reveals that she is pregnant with Greg's "Crystal Gem/human baby", and Garnet reveals that Rose will have to die. This sends Pearl to tears, and Rose has to go on a quest with "Lyon" to help Pearl.
In the end of the story, seemingly set in the future after a time travel event, Rose faces her evil clone Esor Ztrauq, meant to represent Assirram Strebor. As Rose kills Esor, she dies herself, and awakes as her own child. Greg decides to name the child "Rose Quartz Universe", but changes that to "Steven Quartz Universe" once Garnet points out that it's a boy. Greg then builds a house for Steven and the Crystal Gems to live in, and the fic ends, while Yellow Diamond is crushed by two hand spaceships that clapped.
Steven and Pearl's storyEdit
In Steven and Pearl's story, a parody of My Immortal, Steven takes the role of Tara Gilesbie and Ebony, Pearl takes the role of Raven and Willow, and Connie takes the role of Draco. For it, Pearl adopts a nickname "healintearz10000", based on Rose Quartz's power of healing tears and Pearl's approximate age in Earth years. Steven and Pearl decide on the name Bubble Buddies, referencing the name of another Steven Universe episode.
In Garnet's story, "Ruby and Sapphire" (used as a single character) represent John Freeman, and "Pearl and Amethyst" substitute for John's brother Gordon Freeman. Towards the end, though, both Pearl and Amethyst show different personalities, as do Ruby and Sapphire.
- These stories are briefly alluded to in Meanie Pixies' Hour of Fame.
- Once Chell Junor refers to herself as a "robot ball/human baby" as she was known in ITS MY LIFE!, Amethyst subsequently refers to Steven as a "Crystal Gem/human baby" as in Lion 3: Spectators of the Host.
- The last scene of Lion 3: Spectators of the Host is reversed, with Rebecca Sugar-Vasquez expecting to name her child Steven, but with the revelation that she gave birth to a girl, going with the name "Rose Quartz Vasquez" instead. It is also implied that in the Marrissaverse, Lion 3: Spectators of the Host was written by Rebecca, and became the subsequent foundation for the universe's version of Steven Universe.