h3y b34ur3g4rd3
stop cry1ng 1n your moth3rs subst4nc3s
sh3 h4t3s you 4nd h4s l3ft you for3v3r
h3h3h3h :]

- Lately, in her pesterlog to Skepness Man Beauregarde in Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host

Lately Pirate is one of the Belorussian aliens with candy corn horns and gray skin featured in the Post-SCrash Session series.


Part of the Roberts family
Biological father:
Biological mother:
Spectatress Pirate
This character:
Lately Pirate
Their siblings:
Trapezi Pirate
Spouse: Ben Stiller
Biological children: Dove Stiller, Dick Stiller, Logic Editor
In a relationship with Gaslenna Membrain
No children known


Lately Pirate, like various other Belorussians, joined Meanie Pixies and Aranna Sorket at the Frog Temple hosted at the pink moon of Belarus, and was subsequently killed by Meanie. She receives little to no attention in Post-SCrash Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens; however, Meanie mentions that Lately tended to sniff her a lot, despite her disability of being unable to smell.

She does, however, have an extensive appearance in Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host. She, together with Aranna, was thrown to Portal High School ca. AG 1980, and generally enjoys Aranna's company. However, she doesn't actually become a student of Portal High School, causing distress between her and Mr. Sanpe, a particularly awful teacher from Portal High School. Nevertheless, Lately sticks around and meets new people, among whom is one of the main characters of Spectators of the Host, Skepness Man Beauregarde.

Lately immediately considers Skepness Man to not be a suitable role model, seeing as he speaks way too many words. She sees a potential relation between Skepness Man and Cranky Vasquez and considers that Portal High "Skool" was much better off without him.

Nevertheless, another man, Ben Stiller, gets her attention. Lately and Ben eventually get married on one of the seven Fridays in a row (in particular, on the third Friday at "12:330 PM") and continue to live in the city of Portal High School. Later in Spectators of the Host, Lately is actually admitted to Portal High School; however, an incident between her, Aranna and Ben occurs, in which she "accidentally" throws Aranna to the underground part of Portal High School, thus provoking her (Aranna's) newfound role as a chronomad.

Lately and Ben have three kids: Logic Editor, Dove Stiller and Dick Stiller. However, in Dick Stiller and Roxa Lavigne's Time Travellegiance it is revealed that Lately and Ben only married in support of gay rights, as Lately appears to have gay feelings towards "Gaslenna Membrain" and Ben appears to have gay feelings towards "Oven Wilsen".

In The AG 1991 Premiere of Inside Out, she and Ben play the role of Mrs. and Mr. Andersen, Riley Andersen's parents, respectively.

Lately and Ben, however, are separated in AG 1991, as Meanie takes her, alongside the rest of the team, to Belarus Nouveau (later to be renamed Altair), where she assumes the identity of Candacension Pixies and gives her team alternate identities; Lately's in particular is "Neopet Radglare". However, much later, Lately, alongside her mother Spectatress and sister Trapezi, escape Altair in the Time Police's car and return to the Earth.

The plot of Dick Stiller and Roxa Lavigne's Time Travellegiance is kicked off when Lately discovers that her trademark sunglasses are missing. She puts the house on lockdown and therefore Dick Stiller is immediately in distress. He and Roxa Lavigne eventually end up stealing Lately's own "delirious time car" and taking off to the future, maddening Lately.


  • Her chumhandle is gamergirlCourtjester. The first part refers to Latula's theme in Homestuck, which is a rehash of a preexisting song GameGrl (Original 1993 Mix) (which was remixed by Marrissa), and the second part appears to refer to Terezi Pyrope, Latula's dancestor.
  • Her Tumblr blog is named
  • She appears to "Canadian" and use "eh" a lot, despite her alien origins.
  • Her ancestor is named Spectatress Pirate. The name refers to <<Spectator Name Here>>, the first original character (even predating Aperture Science Business Magnet) created for the Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise, and there is no reference to Spectators of the Host intended.


MarrissaTheWriter story characters (v d e)
Real people Doombly (Sue Mary - MarissaTheWriter) - ASBusinessMagnet (Principal Business Lady - Born Again Christian - interdimensionalPortaller) - Skepkitty (fictionalized) - Reel fans (Logic Editor) - Falmer trollz (Telltale Fanfic Theater 3000 - Korekara - CadenGallic - Library of the Damned) - Teen Ragers (Prettydog200 - Loveable Freak) - Katty Smithereens
Created by Doombly
ITS MY LIFE! (protagonists) Marrissa Roberts - Wheatly - Chell - Gabe Jonson - Caroline - TEEN FORTRESS 2 (Scot - Pyro - Ingineer) - Ratman
ITS MY LIFE! (villains) GLaDOS (CHELLGADOS) - Atlas and P-Body - Cave Jonson - The Ultimate Zombee - Assirram Strebor
ITS MY LIFE! (supporting) Companon Coob - Space Core - Rick Core - Oracle Torrent - Gordon Freeman
TEEN FORTRESS 2 Wulf - Katty the Koala - Mr. Pursell - Mr. Sanpe - Principal GLaDOS - Loise Boombooms - Jenny Weasley - Gaz - Abraman Linkan - Redman and Bluman
Born Again Christian Gloria Deschanel - Zim - Gir - Dib - Simon Cowbell - Professor Membrane - Zooey Deschanel - Stephen Merchant - Nny - Skepness Man
THE MARRISSA GAMES Primrose Everdeen - Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eater - Gale Thunderpants - Katniss Everdeen - President Snow - Peacekeepers - Effie Trinket - Haymish Abernathy - Frank Fifteen - Agents J and K - Thomas the Tank Engine - Tributes (Roo - Sweary Guy) - Ceaser the Dog Whisperer - Whip Whittaker - Gamemakers (Sentinel Crane)
Real Beauty Jane Burnham - The Once-ler - Kai Lai
THE KILL OF SNAPE Gobo Fraggle - Iggy and Huey - Robot and Roslalonde Lettuce - Bertha Boombooms - Flyhoof - The Canni-bull - Queen Elizabeth - Taylor Swift
THE FLAMES AWAKENS Riley Andorsen - Sans and Pappyras
Created by ASBusinessMagnet
Pre-Post-SCrash Session Emprase Contone Ovasere - Ross Lavigne - Avril Lavigne - My Chemical Romance (Gerard Way) - Mark Tequila - Aliens with candy corn horns and gray skin (Kanner Sorket)
Post-SCrash Session Janet Roberts - Jack London - Roxa Lavigne - Dick Stiller - Janet's Robrodad - Dick Stiller's GPS Navigation - Candacension Pixies - God Cat - Meanie Pixies' team (Meanie Pixies - Aranna Sorket - Lately Pirate - Cranky Vasquez) - Cherub trollz (Cantaloupe - California) - Detective Pony characters (Anna Halley - Jared Halley)
Spectators of the Host (main) Skepness Man Beauregarde - Violet Beauregarde (1971) - Willy Wanker - Charlie Bucket - Chell Junor Roberts
Spectators of the Host (supporting) Chocolate Factory cast: Loompa-Oompa servants - Augustus Gloop - Veruca Salt - Mike Teavee - Teachers: Mr. Lewis - Ms. Hart - Welcome to Night Vale: Cecil - Carlos - Others: Leprechauns - North Koreans - SkyDoesMinecraft - Joey Claire - Violet Beauregarde, Jr.
Marrissaverse Stories 2015 The Comcasts - Loreta Alcorn - McJuggerNugget - Marrissa Picard - Albert Dumblydore
Hour of Fame Rebecca Sugar-Vasquez - Stephanie Universe - Alphas
Skepness Man's works Wantagruel Vasebreaker - Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez - Kobito Minano
Created by others
Arrow-Awesome Fact Core - Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
Prettydog200 Kitteh - Mary-Sue - JABBY JERRY BERRY

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