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- GLaDOS first establishes a relation between characters in ITS MY LIFE! Chapter 1

The Jonson family consists of all the relatives of Gabe Jonson and Caroline. This is the first family to be established in the MarissaTheWriter stories, starting with ITS MY LIFE!, where it is revealed that Gabe and Caroline are parents of Marrissa Roberts and Chell. Most of the main characters of MarissaTheWriter stories, especially those written by Doombly, are members of this family.

Note that the apparent surname "Roberts" is a malapropism, as it was originally part of the full name of Robot Lettuce, "Marrissa Roberts Lettuce".

Family treeEdit

                          Queen Eggert -+- Cakeman Vasquez
       Twilite Sparkel                  +-----------------------------------------------------+             Lavigne family
              |                         |                                                     |                    |
  Karkel Sparkel-Vasquez -+- Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez             Principal GLaDOS -+- Principal Business Man -*- Skepkitty
                          |                                                      |                          |
 Flashlight Girl --- Cranky Vasquez  +--------------+                 +----------+                          |
                                     |              |                 |                       Ratman        |
                        Gir -+- Cave Jonson     Gabe Jonson -+- Caroline/GLaDOS                  |          |
                             |                               |                                  **          |
                           Zim Jr.       +-------------------------------------------------------+          |   Beauregarde family
                                         |                                                       |          |      |
                                    Marrissa Roberts -+- Wheatly                               Chell        |     ***
                                                      |                                                     |      |
                                             Chell Junor Roberts -------------+-------------- Skepness Man Beauregarde       
                                                                       Roberts family


  • * Principal Business Man and Skepkitty have divorced. To further complicate the matters, both of them later came out as transgender.
  • ** Even though Gabe Jonson and GLaDOS are Chell's parents by adoption, Ratman is Chell's biological father, due to a mishap in artificial insemination.
  • *** Skepness Man is part of the Beauregarde family by adoption.

Other relationsEdit

  • Assirram Strebor is Marrissa Roberts's clone, engineered by the evil TEEN FORTRESS 2. Similarly, the evil TEEN FORTRESS 2 themselves are clones of the good TEEN FORTRESS 2, engineered by Cave Jonson.
  • Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition establishes that Principal Business Man and Principal GLaDOS, after their deaths, became Atlas and P-Body. Furthermore, THE MARRISSA GAMES establishes that P-Body is Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eater's sister, and therefore he renames himself to Peeta-Body. This also connects them to Primrose Evergreen and D-Body, Peeta's wife and presumed daughter respectively, and Kantiss Evergreen, Prim's sister.
    • In addition, TEEN FORTRESS 2 claimed that Atlas and P-Body had two children, Atbod and P-Las, but later it was revealed that Atbod and P-Las were actually Atlas and P-Body under disguise.
  • Principal Business Man has an adoptive daughter, Emprase Contone Ovasere, adopted after Caroline's conversion to GLaDOS and Principal GLaDOS's death.
  • In The AG 1991 Premiere of Inside Out and Meanie Pixies' Hour of Fame, it is revealed that Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez has divorced Karkel and instead married Rebecca Sugar-Vasquez polyamorously together with Ian Jones-Burnett. Rebecca gives birth to Jhonen's child during the course of Hour of Fame; originally, the two planned to name the baby after Rebecca's brother, Steven, but as the child was revealed to be a girl, they instead decided to name her Rose Quartz Vasquez. She then marries Charlie Roberts, Skepness Man and Chell Junor's son.

Major family membersEdit

Minor family membersEdit

  • Queen Eggert has only been mentioned in versions of the MarrissaTheWriter Family Tree drawn by ASBusinessMagnet. Her name is based on that of the Guidestuck character Quinn Egbert; however, she may be the same as the British Queen Elizabeth, who appears in ITS MY LIFE! and HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE briefly.
  • Relations between Twilite Sparkel, Cakeman Vasquez, Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez, Karkel Sparkel-Vasquez and Cranky Vasquez have only been established in the MarrissaTheWriter Family Tree, but allusions to them and the characters have appeared in other stories:
  • Gir and Cave Jonson have illegitimate sex as seen in Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition, and thus give birth to a child, who Gir names after her previous Master, Zim.


Note that some family members may have appeared in other stories; this only documents the appearances of the family tree at large.

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