She was... THE FLASHLIGHT GIRL FROM THE HOMESTUCK KICKSTARTER! (AN: See I'm introducing Homestuck characters so I can still count as a Homestuck fanfic)

- Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host

Joey Claire (provisionally called Flashlight Girl) first appears in Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host. She is based on the girl seen from the backer-exclusive update of the Homestuck Adventure Game (later dubbed Hiveswap), of whom not much was known, up to and including details such as her name, age and interests, back in the day when Spectators of the Host was written, hence requiring the use of the provisional name, which is based on a picture of her holding a flashlight.


She is admitted to Portal High School on one out of seven Fridays in a row. Here, her personality is showcased. Like Skepness Man Beauregarde, she is seeking after knowledge, but unlike him, she tends to ask people questions directly, rather than experiencing various time periods for herself. As such, she is hated by the staff of Portal High School, on her first day gets an F from Mr. Sanpe, and when she asks Skepness Man to tell something about where she has ended up, he instead gives her his works, Enchiridion Marrissa and Additional Discoveries on Marrissaverse History.

While she is reading, she flashes her flashlight at the sky. This brings attention of unidentified aliens from the Moon, (despite previous MarissaTheWriter fics set on the Moon showing no forms of life present there) who abduct Flashlight Girl, "ending her story on the Earth because honestly we just learned who she is let's leave her alone." However, her story doesn't quite end here, as Aranna Sorket, now owning Skepness Man's rusty BMW, finds Flashlight Girl on the Moon, and the two decide to become a pair of chronomads.

She then encounters Cranky Vasquez, who Aranna also picked up to become a chronomad with the two. Flashlight Girl and Cranky thus develop a romance, leaving Aranna distraught and Marissa hit in the shipping feels. Eventually, she, Aranna and Cranky form a triad of chronomads, in which Flashlight Girl serves the purpose of "the explorer who would shed light on every mystery ever, quite literally".

The three eventually become "the time police", able to track any vehicle that travels through time. They get on the case of Janet Roberts and Dick Stiller rebuilding the delirious time car and, when a page flows onto her hands, she is reminded that Janet and Meanie Pixies can be interchanged, as can Dick and Merlin LeJoin.

In The AG 1991 Premiere of Inside Out, she plays the role of Disgust, one of Riley Andersen's emotions. She also smiles at the mention of Hiveswap, knowing that she is not doomed to be a character of an unreleased game. However, a disagreement between Aranna and Skepness Man in the play causes a riot, in which she dies.

Marrissaverse Stories 2015 timelineEdit

Not much is known about this timeline's Joey, other than that she has never become a chronomad, given that Skepness Man never stopped being one. However, the original Joey exists in some form before the timeline is fixed, implying that she has never been erased, per the time travel rules of Marrissaverse Stories 2015.


  • Flashlight Girl is not the first MarissaTheWriter character to be equipped with a flashlight; Wheatly also has one, and uses it to temporarily blind Assirram Strebor, and Agent K uses his flashlight to light up a dark room of Half-Life College.
  • She refers to aliens with candy corn horns and gray skin as "trolls", alluding to what they were actually named in Homestuck.
  • Hours after posting the chapter of Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host which features Flashlight Girl, ASBusinessMagnet wrote another fanfic based on the same character, Bright yet Dark. It assumes that her name is Kate Parker and that she used to live in a dysfunctional future Earth which was rotten away by Tumblr, before setting off to Alternia, one of homes to aliens with candy corn horns and gray skin, with her three friends, all of whom were avid Tumblrites. Other than the fact that Kate/Joey ends up on Alternia somehow, nothing from Hiveswap was correctly predicted, but even after inaccuracies first arose, Bright yet Dark was kept around for a few months to complement ASBusinessMagnet's fan adventure Sburb Fanventure Do's and Don'ts, and later was followed by The Council of Claires, in which, instead of Alternia, Kate arrives at the setting of Hiveswap on Earth, where she is familiarized with Joey.
    • Bright yet Dark is also mentioned in the MarrissaTheWriter Complete Anthology by ASBusinessMagnet, as a way of giving Flashlight Girl the attention she deserved but never got due to being a minor cameo introduced to Spectators of the Host nearing the end of its lifespan.
  • Flashlight Girl's appearances frequently break the fourth wall; whenever she is brought up, it is likely that a development detail of Hiveswap will also be brought up, such as the amount of funds acquired via Kickstarter or the stagnation of development.
  • Lately Pirate refers to her as a "female Cranky Vasquez".
  • In Meanie Pixies' Hour of Fame, it is stated that Flashlight Girl does not watch Rebecca Sugar-Vasquez's show Steven Universe. This is in contrast with ASBusinessMagnet's own view that Joey Claire, as she appears in Hiveswap, were she to exist in the present day, would be a fan of the show; however, the chapter of Hour of Fame in question was written before Hiveswap was released.
  • As of October 29, 2017, ASBusinessMagnet's profile icon on both FanFiction.Net and Tumblr is set to a picture of Joey Claire.



  1. While it appears that Joey's education lasted a single day during Spectators of the Host, she is mentioned as a graduate in The AG 1991 Premiere of Inside Out.
MarissaTheWriter story characters (v d e)
Based on real people
Real people Doombly - ASBusinessMagnet - Arrow-Awesome - Logic Editor - Skepkitty - Telltale Fanfic Theater 3000 - Prettydog200 - Korekara - Loveable Freak - CadenGallic - Library of the Damned
Fabricated people Sue Mary - MarissaTheWriter - Katty Smithereens - interdimensionalPortaller
Self-inserts Principal Business Lady - Business Man (IZ:BAC) - Skepkitty - Falmer trollz - Reel fans - Teen Ragers
Created by Doombly
ITS MY LIFE! (protagonists) Marrissa Roberts - Wheatly - Chell - Gabe Jonson - Caroline - TEEN FORTRESS 2 (Scot - Pyro - Ingineer) - Ratman
ITS MY LIFE! (villains) GLaDOS - Atlas and P-Body - Cave Jonson - CHELLGADOS - The Ultimate Zombee - Assirram Strebor
ITS MY LIFE! (supporting) Companon Coob - Space Core - Rick Core - Oracle Torrent - Gordon Freeman
TEEN FORTRESS 2 Wulf - Katty the Koala - Mr. Pursell - Mr. Sanpe - Principal GLaDOS - Loise Boombooms - Jenny Weasley - Gaz - Abraman Linkan - Redman and Bluman
Born Again Christian Gloria Deschanel - Zim - Gir - Dib - Simon Cowbell - Professor Membrane - Zooey Deschanel - Stephen Merchant - Nny - Skepness Man
THE MARRISSA GAMES (main) Pimprose Evergreen - Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eater - Gale Thunderpants - President Snow - Haymish Abernathy - Whip Whittaker - Gamemakers
THE MARRISSA GAMES (supporting) Kantiss Evergreen - Peacekeepers - Effie Trinket - Frank Fifteen - Agents J and K - Thomas the Tank Engine - Tributes (Roo - Sweary Guy) - Ceaser the Dog Whisperer - Sentinel Crane
Real Beauty Jane Burnham - The Once-ler - Kai Lai
THE KILL OF SNAPE Hermoany Stranger - Gobo Fraggle - Iggy and Huey - Robot and Roslalonde Lettuce - Bertha Boombooms - Flyhoof - The Canni-bull - Queen Elizabeth - Taylor Swift
THE FLAMES AWAKENS Riley Andorsen - Sans and Pappyras
Created by ASBusinessMagnet
Pre-Post-SCrash Session Emprase Contone Ovasere - Ross Lavigne - Avril Lavigne - Gerard Way - Mark Tequila - Kanner Sorket
Post-SCrash Session series (main) The Alpha Kids (Janet Roberts - Jack London - Roxa Lavigne - Dick Stiller) - Candacension Pixies - Meanie Pixies - The Time Police (Aranna Sorket - Cranky Vasquez - Joey Claire) - Lately Pirate
Post-SCrash Session (supporting) Janet's Robrodad - Dick Stiller's GPS Navigation - God Cat - Meanie Pixies' team - Cherub trollz (Cantaloupe - California)
Spectators of the Host (main) Skepness Man Beauregarde - Violet Beauregarde - Willy Wanker - Charlie Bucket - The fake Violet - Chell Junor Roberts
Spectators of the Host (supporting) Leprechauns - Loompa-Oompa servants - Mr. Lewis - Augustus Gloop - Veruca Salt - Mike Teavee - North Koreans - Violet Beauregarde, Jr. - Ms. Hart - Cecil - Carlos - SkyDoesMinecraft
Marrissaverse Stories 2015 The Comcasts - Loreta Alcorn - McJuggerNugget - Marrissa Picard - Albert Dumblydore
Hour of Fame Rebecca Sugar-Vasquez - Stephanie Universe - Alphas
Skepness Man's works Jared Halley - Wantagruel Vasebreaker - Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez - Kobito Minano
Created by others
Arrow-Awesome Fact Core - Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
Prettydog200 Kitteh - Mary-Sue - JABBY JERRY BERRY