HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE is the sixth MarrissaTheWriter story, and the fourth one set in Marissa's main continuity. It is a prequel set during the same timespan as TEEN FORTRESS 2 with heavy focus on Wheatly, once known as Harry Potter. It is posted on both Tumblr and Archive of Our Own, as was the case with previous two MarrissaTheWriter stories, THE MARRISSA GAMES and Real Beauty.
Harry Potter is a student and resident of Hogwarts. The story begins post-Deathly Hallows, as Harry has already defeated Voldemort, but nevertheless the first chapter still features a fight scene between him and the "Deth Dealers" at what once was Hogwarts.
Two months later, the setting moves to now-rebuilt Hogwarts. Since "Dumbldeore" was killed, there is a new principal at school named Gobo Fraggle. At this point, however, it should be noted that Gobo isn't an actual Fraggle, and instead was simply named after the puppet since his parents watched Fraggle Rock prior to his birth. Gobo sets up the scene by calling Harry to his office and telling him that Snape, allegedly killed by Voldemort, is still alive. As known from the previous MarissaTheWriter fanfics, he has run off to Portal High School to be a Math teacher, and therefore Harry and Jenny Weasley must stop them. Thus, they fly to America, where Portal High School is situated.
However, before they can get to Portal High School, Jenny notices that everyone recognizes Harry and thus he needs to get plastic surgery from Robot and Roslalonde Lettuce so that he can't be recognized anymore.
When all is said and done, Wheatly and Jenny get on a plane, which at the time is piloted by infant Whip Whittaker. While on the plane, Wheatly is molested by The Hobbit and kills him as a revenge. The blood splatters all over the plane's windows, hence alerting for a refund.
Once Wheatly and Jenny get to America, they are met by Robot and Roslalonde again. Roslalonde nearly dies in a car crash, and the zoo where her car crashed into turns out to be host to Katty the Koala, who then escapes. Thus, Wheatly and Jenny finally get to Portal High School, where they are greeted by Principal GLaDOS.
In Portal High School, Wheatly and Jenny go to a History lesson by Mr. Pursell, where they learn about the backstory of Robot and Roslalonde. They were apparently killed, which immediately makes Wheatly suspicious. Later, at lunch, Wheatly discovers that Jenny is allergic to non-British food, and goes to find some. Instead, he comes across a "druggy jerk" who is also a brony, but Wheatly kills him. He finds an address with him that he decides to keep.
Returning to Portal High School, Wheatly finds that Caroline is hosting a tour of Portal High School and that Snape has begun going as "Mr. Sanpe" and become a teacher of Portal High School. However, before they can learn too much, Caroline is taken away by her "dad" Business Lady, who comments that Caroline has posted nude pictures of herself on "myspace" and that she is grounded, and thus Wheatly and Jenny are left alone.
A few days later, Wheatly is informed by Robot and Roslalonde that a pony has been stolen. Remembering the address, Wheatly heads to what turns out to be the brony base, where he meets Skepness Man. They face off when Bertha Boombooms, the "Alfa B****" of Portal High School and Mr. Sanpe's romantic object, kills the pony, named Flyhoof.
Eventually, neither side turns out to be victorious in the battle, as the bronies and Bertha escape. However, Wheatly has recorded photographic evidence of Bertha killing Flyhoof, and shows it to the other popular people of Portal High School. Eventually, Bertha's popularity is lost and she sewisides.
Later, Wheatly witnesses the scene in TEEN FORTRESS 2 when the naked girls are raped by the football dudes. He uses his magic, but gets the attention of Mr. Sanpe. Wheatly successfully defends himself, claiming that killing him would be against the law, but Mr. Sanpe still wants to punish Wheatly and therefore gives him amnesia, making him not remember anything from his past life, and assume the identity of Wheatly full-time as Principal GLaDOS calls him that, as well as a moron.
As he is later found by Cave Jonson and transferred to the future, Jenny learns of bad news back at Hogwarts, via a portal that leads there. Jenny promises to jump through the portal and aid Ron and Hermoany, but only after she has killed Snape.
Jenny attends Caroline's "seinor gradute" party with Soldier, only to be attacked by Loise Boombooms, who purports to be Bertha's sister. She manages to escape when Loise is distracted by the arrival of Cave Jonson and the death of Principal GLaDOS. Later that night she and Soldier have sex, and Jenny decides to tell him her real identity.
Once she reveals her plans to kill Snape to Solder, she confronts Snape at the cafeteria, where Robot and Roslalonde are watching. To fight her, he transforms into his "ULTAMATE FORM", a mixture of Dragon Ball and Steven Universe elements. Nevertheless, Jenny successfully defeats them, while Robot and Roslalonde note that Skepness Man got sidetracked and ask him to take Jenny to Hogwarts.
Meanwhile in Hogwarts, Iggy and Huey have taken over the school. It is therefore up to Ron, who has decided on his own alternate identity "Gale Thunderpants", to kill Iggy and Huey. He defeats them, but is eaten by a squid, who then squirts him out and he flies on his broom to Portal High School.
In the meantime, Skepness Man uses his jetpack to take Jenny to British England. However, they land at London and Skepness Man's jetpack runs out of fuel. Since they cannot take the train to Hogwarts due to lack of money, Skepness Man and Jenny employ themselves at Hooters. Though, Hooters don't bring them money fast enough, so Skepness Man and Jenny end up robbing the place. They then have sex.
Once they are done, Skepness Man reveals to Jenny that he is a time traveller and that he already knows who his love is. When they go to Hogwarts, Gobo Fraggle is revealed to be evil and the person who hired Cave Jonson to turn Wheatly into a robo ball. He unleashes his "ULTIMATE CREATESHUN", the Hogwarts Centipede, a Human Centipede-esque monster made from the bodies of various Hogwarts students. Skepness Man is then taken into an unknown point in time, while Robot and Roslalonde are similarly incapacitated, thus making Jenny fight on her own.
Jenny reveals the true extent of her powers to Gobo Fraggle, but he makes a blood demon army, and thus Jenny knows that she won't win alone. Luckily, Queen Elizabeth shows up, revealing that she is a former Hogwarts student and a necromancer. She also reveals that Gobo Fraggle dated Taylor Swift, but they broke up, thus hurting Gobo's feelings. She thus kicks Gobo, but he takes the fight (including Robot and Roslalonde) back in time, where Taylor Swift herself appears.
Jenny, Queen Elizabeth and Taylor unite to a "Gurl Power Fite Force". Gobo attacks Elizabeth, but Jenny takes the attack to her eye, thus demanding for an eyepatch. Just then, the past headmaster of Hogwarts comes to the scene and is immediately killed by Gobo.
As Gobo powers up for his final attack, ready to kill Jenny, Elizabeth and Taylor, Skepness Man comes to the scene and deflects the attack, killing Gobo instead. Skepness Man then proclaims that when he traveled in time, he already found his true love, and Robot and Roslalonde release him, telling him that he can do missions on his own. Jenny then decides to become the headmaster in the killed headmaster's place, leaving Elizabeth and Taylor behind.
Just then, Jenny begins giving birth. She has three kids from different parents: Ron from Harry, Medik from Soldier and Skepkitty from Skepness Man. She takes them to their appropriate times. Jenny's arc thus concludes.
The Lettuces' arcEdit
This story is the first to introduce Robot and Roslalonde Lettuce. It is also revealed that they have done missions similar to the one in THE KILL OF SNAPE in their relative past, including killing JFK, who was actually GLaDOS in disguise who was to prevent Marrissa Roberts from being born. They also appear in a wrestling match against Max "The Canni-bull" Richards and Shrek, where they are victorious, and therefore get to hire wrestlers such as Hulk Hogan and Strong Bad to assist Scot in TEEN FORTRESS 2.
Related to this arc, in chapter 7 Gabe Jonson and Caroline attempt to research the Lettuces. They find out that Robot's real name is "Marrissa Roberts Lettuce", and decide to name their daughter after him. However, before they can figure out too much, Robot and Roslalonde briefly teleport them to the time of the dinosaurs.
The story concludes when Robot and Roslalonde decide that they want a family, but nothing is stopping them from doing time travel missions as well.
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- HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE is the longest MarissaTheWriter story written by Doombly by the number of words (but not by the number of chapters).