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Not to be confused with Principal Business Man/Business Lady and Business Man from Invader Zim: Born Again Christian, her fictionalized counterparts.

See her user page here.

ASBusinessMagnet (born April 30, 1996[1]) is a fan fiction writer and the author of several fan stories for the main MarissaTheWriter continuum. She has developed a love-hate relationship with Doombly, the author of the original MarissaTheWriter stories, and during the years, she has sided both with reel fans and with falmer trollz.

Notably, only ASBusinessMagnet's stories involve characters and settings from the webcomic Homestuck (with the exception of a short ficlet Doombly wrote for one of the readers of his fanfics on YouTube, tentatively dubbed Sonical Hedgemouse and the Homestorks).

Besides trollfics, ASBusinessMagnet also writes fanfics seriously. Not counting fanfics written under the guise of interdimensionalPortaller, Marrissa Roberts (or possibly MarissaTheWriter) is featured in one story, The Inevitable Sunset, and Doombly is featured in three stories, OFU Portal: The 4th Millennium Edition, Violet and the Horrible Fanfic Writer and Just Before the Anthology.

On September 8th, 2013, she founded MarissaTheWriter Wiki to keep track of Marissa's shenanigans.

On January 13th, 2015, she came out as transgender. A large portion of MarissaTheWriter wiki has been written before this, and therefore any mention of ASBusinessMagnet as "he" is therefore incorrect, except for the mentions of the in-universe characters representing her.

Fictional identityEdit

Main articles: Principal Business Lady, Business Man (IZ:BAC)

She was first acknowledged by MarissaTheWriter in ITS MY LIFE!, having drawn fanart for it in form of Sweet Chell and Hella Marrissa. However, this mention was only in the author's notes, and the first real appearance of ASBusinessMagnet is as Principal Business Man (at the time; later changed to "Bissness Lady" after her coming out as a transgender girl) in TEEN FORTRESS 2.

A version of ASBusinessMagnet, seemingly unrelated both to Principal Business Man and Born Again Christian Business Man, is featured in Portla 3. He shoots the fic's version of Skepkitty, as he's working together with Logic Editor under the management of Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way to kill Marrissa Roberts.

Due to the prominence of this fictionalized version, ASBusinessMagnet was frequently called "Business Man" and/or "Bissness Man" by other people involved with the MarissaTheWriter stories, such as Skepkitty and Doombly, even outside the context of the stories in question.


  • Up until HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE, she is the only person to be mentioned in every MarrissaTheWriter fic written by Doombly.




  1. "Birth date: April 30, 1996" - ASBusinessMagnet - URL:
MarrissaTheWriter story characters (v d e)
Real people Doombly (Sue Mary - MarissaTheWriter) - ASBusinessMagnet (Principal Business Lady - Born Again Christian - interdimensionalPortaller) - Skepkitty (fictionalized) - Reel fans (Logic Editor) - Falmer trollz (Telltale Fanfic Theater 3000 - Korekara - CadenGallic - Library of the Damned) - Others: Katty Smithereens
Created by Doombly
Protagonists (ITS MY LIFE!) Marrissa Roberts - Wheatly - Chell - Gabe Jonson - Caroline - TEEN FORTRESS 2 (Scot - Pyro - Ingineer) - Ratman
Villains (ITS MY LIFE!) GLaDOS (CHELLGADOS) - Atlas and P-Body - Cave Jonson - The Ultimate Zombee - Assirram Strebor
Supporting cast (ITS MY LIFE!) Companon Coob - Space Core - Rick Core - Oracle Torrent - Gordon Freeman
TEEN FORTRESS 2 Wulf - Katty the Koala - Mr. Pursell - Mr. Sanpe - Principal GLaDOS - Loise Boombooms - Jenny Weasley - Gaz - Abraman Linkan - Redman and Bluman
Born Again Christian Gloria Deschanel - Zim - Gir - Dib - Simon Cowbell - Professor Membrane - Zooey Deschanel - Stephen Merchant - Teen Ragers (Prettydog200 - Loveable Freak) - Nny - Skepness Man
THE MARRISSA GAMES Primrose Everdeen - Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eater - Gale Thunderpants - Katniss Everdeen - President Snow - Peacekeepers - Effie Trinket - Haymish Abernathy - Frank Fifteen - Agents J and K - Thomas the Tank Engine - Tributes (Roo - Sweary Guy) - Ceaser the Dog Whisperer - Whip Whittaker - Gamemakers (Sentinel Crane)
Real Beauty Jane Burnham - The Once-ler - Kai Lai
THE KILL OF SNAPE Gobo Fraggle - Iggy and Huey - Robot and Roslalonde Lettuce - Bertha Boombooms - Flyhoof - The Canni-bull - Queen Elizabeth - Taylor Swift
THE FLAMES AWAKENS Riley Andorsen - Sans and Pappyras
Created by ASBusinessMagnet
Pre-Post-SCrash Session Emprase Contone Ovasere - Ross Lavigne - Avril Lavigne - My Chemical Romance (Gerard Way) - Mark Tequila - Aliens with candy corn horns and gray skin (Kanner Sorket)
Post-SCrash Session Janet Roberts - Jack London - Roxa Lavigne - Dick Stiller - Janet's Robrodad - Dick Stiller's GPS Navigation - Candacension Pixies - God Cat - Meanie Pixies' team (Meanie Pixies - Aranna Sorket - Lately Pirate - Cranky Vasquez) - Cherub trollz (Cantaloupe - California) - Detective Pony characters (Anna Halley - Jared Halley)
Spectators of the Host (main) Skepness Man Beauregarde - Violet Beauregarde (1971) - Willy Wanker - Charlie Bucket - Chell Junor Roberts
Spectators of the Host (supporting) Chocolate Factory cast: Loompa-Oompa servants (North Koreans) - Augustus Gloop - Veruca Salt - Mike Teavee - Teachers: Mr. Lewis - Ms. Hart - Welcome to Night Vale: Cecil - Carlos - Others: Leprechauns - Joey Claire - SkyDoesMinecraft - Violet Beauregarde, Jr.
Marrissaverse Stories 2015 The Comcasts - Loreta Alcorn - McJuggerNugget - Marrissa Picard - Albert Dumblydore
Meanie Pixies' Hour of Fame Rebecca Sugar-Vasquez - Stephanie Universe
Skepness Man's works Wantagruel Vasebreaker - Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez - Kobito Minano
Created by others
Arrow-Awesome Fact Core - Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
Prettydog200 Kitteh - Mary-Sue - JABBY JERRY BERRY

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